How to Give a Handjob

Giving a great handjob is as much about making a connection with your partner (whether it’s a long term relationship or an anonymous quickie) as it is about a specific technique. Handjobs shouldn’t feel like work, but at the same time the best handjob givers tend to have a certain amount of pride in their craft.

Whatever you do, start slowly

Because every guy is different, knowing the latest move isn’t always going to work. What’s more important is a handjob that brings enthusiasm and adventure…PLUS the ability to start slow and pay attention. As you touch him, pay attention to your pressure, the speed of the stroke and where you’re touching. At the same time, pay attention to what’s going on for him. Is he making happy noises? Is he moving his body?

Handjobs aren’t just about the penis

It may be the lead actor in the drama, but supporting characters, like the testicles and scrotum, can steal the scene for some guys. These areas, along with the perineum, can be sensitive to touch and pressure, particularly once a many is aroused. You can also put your middle finger and forefinger around the top of the scrotum (making sure that you just have skin between your fingers, no actual balls) and then slowly and gently tug down, away from the body.

Wetter is better

Because guys don’t lubricate enough to create any kind of noticeable wetness, adding external personal lubricant is an absolute must for a great handjob. If the lube is only for the handjob and you’re not planning on relying on condoms immediately afterward, oil-based lubricants really are the best as they don’t dry up and can actually add to the experience. Doc Johnson's Mans Grease Sis specially designed for this purpose, but in a pinch any water-based or even silicone-based lube will do.

Building up, coming down, getting off

Keeping a good pace during the handjob is crucial. In most cases, you want to start slow (with lots of light touch and teasing), building up to a steady stimulation, and then intensifying to the point of orgasm. Stopping in the middle, starting to fast and rough, or trying to use light stimulation after you’ve been stroking hard for a while, probably won’t work. There is no formula for the right pacing, but experiment and pay attention to your partners response (such as deeper breaths, more moaning, increased body tension) and let that be your guide.

Making contact

What separates a handjob from masturbation is both the excitement of the unknown, but also the fact that it’s someone else giving you pleasure. Maintaining a tight connection between you and your partner during a handjob will exponentially increase the quality and satisfaction. Whether it’s making eye contact, allowing yourself to make noises, or touching other parts of his body with a free hand (or other parts of your body), anything you can do to attune yourself to his experience will help you focus on the pleasure of the moment rather than think about what you’re going to next.

Try different styles of strokes

The standard up and down stroke can be effective, but it can also get boring and quickly lead to over-stimulation. Experiment with different kinds of strokes. Use a twisting motion while moving up and down, roll the penis between your palms, alternate short strokes at the base of the penis with short strokes at the tip. Start with short strokes and gradually make them longer. Instead of moving up and down, just stroke up and away from the body.

The squeeze

Some guys really like a firm grip around their penis and will love a combination of stroking with gentle, but firm squeezing up and down the shaft. Usually it’s more like pumping your fist (as if milking a cow…sorry I know that’s not very sexy) than it is like a prolonged squeeze required to open the lid off a jar (again, not so sexy, but I’m at a loss for a better visual metaphor). As a general rule, most guys won’t like the feeling of squeezing directly of the testicles, although stimulating the area can be great. This bring us to our next point.

Pulling it all together

It can be fun to experiment with the above ideas, and more on your own. But don’t worry about trying to do several things at once, or even during one handjob. Remember the goal of a handjob is to give pleasure to your partner and the benefit of this method is that you have a lot of room to tune into his pleasure. Some people find that kind of connection to be arousing, others like the feeling of control, some people love it because they know it’s going to come back to them. Whatever your reasons, a good handjob is, in the end, about making that connection and having fun.